Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize