I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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