Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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