I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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