So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
