Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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