she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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