So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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