Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
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NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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