she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry about my life...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
