Me. At least after what I've been through.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize