I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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