You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
