He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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