Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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