ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
