so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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