I love black thongs
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
They have beer where we have blood.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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