For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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