I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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