My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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