Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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