i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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