the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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