Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
