went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
