You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize