I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
