Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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