I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
