Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize