I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
