I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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