i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
