I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
