ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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