Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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