we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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