So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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