i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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