The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
