DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
