Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
