So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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