Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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