I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
