Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
