It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Two words: blizzard sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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