I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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