unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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