I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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