my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
...so i touched it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
