I think my vagina is haunted
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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