Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
