The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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