I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
