i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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