He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
