I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Randomize
