Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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