No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
